Dead End: Not Ready for a Relationship

I have been told recently that I should start a blog about my relationships to get feedback from others and to provide advice to anyone else who may need it. This is my first attempt at writing a blog about relationships. I like to think that maybe I am like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City or Phoebe from Charmed writing an article that will speak to women experiencing the same thing. Although I have never really been in a relationship I have witnessed many from my friends and family. It is easy to be objective when you are not involved in the situation. When it comes to my love life, I can't seem to take my own advice. I don't think this hinders me at all though. Ya'll get to learn from my mistakes.

The first topic I would like to consider involves the transitional phase where you meet this great guy and you hear the famous line, "I don't really want a relationship right now." I have two interpretations of this line. It either means, " I want a relationship, just not with you," or "Let's just have sex to boost my ego." Is it ever really possible to move forward after those words?

I have experienced this recently with two different guys. For privacy reasons, I am choosing not to disclose the names of the guys I mention, but rather give them nicknames so they can remain anonymous.

Let's call the first one, The Fisherman. Anyways I met The Fisherman through work (for anyone who doesn't know I work at a convenience store). First off I was interested in his friend and ended up going on a date with his friend to a football game...not a good idea, too much yelling not enough time hanging out with each other. Well, needless to say his friend and I didn't really have any chemistry and we gradually stopped talking. Then I started talking to The Fisherman on Facebook. He starts talking about how he wants to get "affection" from someone very soon, but his heart belongs to another girl, so he can't really date anyone else. Hence, the line, " I don't want a relationship right now (but I'll take sex to boost my ego)." Anyways, probably bad move on my part, but I was feeling lonely and gave in. (Can't I have sex to boost my ego as well?) Now for the second guy.

Let's call the second guy, The Enlightened One. The Enlightened One and I met while I was working as well. He actually works for the same company, but not the same store. He was a cute and funny guy. He worked at my store one night on my shift and we talked for hours. I added him to Facebook and we talked on there as well. We even went out to eat and went bowling together. However, he made it clear it wasn't a date. We continued to talk and text each other, but nothing ever happened. He was experiencing this kind of enlightenment about his life and changed his major so he could become more involved in church. He inspired me, so I started this Bible study where I remain single for 40 days, no dating or anything (I will discuss this on my next blog). He was behind me 100%. I am nearing the end of this study and I thought I would gauge his feelings for me, so I began talking to him anonymously through the Honesty Box application on Facebook. Although it was anonymous I was sure he knew it was me. I told him that I had liked him since the first day we talked and his reply was, "I don't want a relationship right now." What does this mean? My interpretation as mentioned above is that he just doesn't want one with me. Obviously, it's not the second interpretation. I haven't really talked to him since. I figured that I shouldn't waste anymore time on him.

Basically, it is never a good thing to hear those words. Obviously, he is damaged in some way from a previous relationship or working out issues that you probably don't want to be a part of. Needless to say, this happens with almost every guy I meet. Buckets of issues. For once I would like to find someone who is just as eager to be with me as I am with them. Then I guess I will know when I have found the One.

I am sorry if this was too long, but I wanted everyone to get a feel of the kinds of things I will talking about. There is more to come, so I hope everyone reads these blogs. I want to answer any questions and hear your feedback. Feel free to comment!